
Tragedy struck Major League Baseball as the New York Yankees bandwagon crashed late Tuesday night in Toronto, Canada, injuring 1,347 fair-weather Yankee fans.
Witnesses say the Yankees bandwagon began teetering uncontrollably as thousands of fans jumped off following the Yankees' 3-1 win in Toronto. With the Red Sox winning, it officially eliminated the Yankees from the playoffs.
"It was madness," said witness Jo Ann Emery. "As soon as it was known that Boston won, those people started streaming off the Yankee bandwagon like rats jumping off a sinking ship."
Luckily, the bandwagoners escaped with only minor injuries, landing on gigantic piles of discarded Yankee jerseys, hats, t-shirts, and other souvenirs.
Yankee bandwagoner Steve Frederton was one of the many injured in the crash. "I don't even know why I was on the bandwagon," said Frederton while applying an ice pack to his bruised ego. "I never really liked the Yankees, especially not now. What a bunch of losers." Frederton then went to a nearby store to purchase a Mets jersey.
Many loyal Yankee followers blamed the crash on upstart fans with no real ties to the team. "I'm an old-school Yankee fan -- I've been following the team since way back in '96," said Nick DiLucci while bandaging his scraped pride. "These new fans, they've got no sense of tradition. At the first sign of failure, they're out the door. With so many of them around, there was bound to be trouble."
MLB officials agreed that the disaster was inevitable. "That bandwagon was packed way too full to begin with," said MLB commissioner/mole-licker Bud Selig. "I've cautioned fans many times about overloading, but they just don't listen. I guess I'll have to eliminate two MLB franchises in order to teach them a lesson."
"I just hope Mr. Steinbrenner doesn't blame me for this," added Selig. "He hits me when he gets angry, you know."
George Steinbrenner was busy firing his players, coaches, staff, hot dog vendors, and wife and was unavailable for comment.